All around the world at this time, any person with a subscriber list of any kind logs into its system.
Coffee in hand, hyper focused eyes drilling the screen, each person clicks through to see who bailed out since yesterday.
Notes are scribbled for the day’s accountability report.
Clicking down, down, down, each person unearths the unsubscribeds’ last consumed material.
Chin in hand, brainstorm in action, each person attempts to connect dots that don’t exist. Humans are pattern-seeking animals, this is what we do.
For each item from which each person unsubscribed, the scrutineer attempts to draw conclusions, about:
- Sales push
- Calls to action
… And more.
And then they start making decisions about the next piece of work that goes out.
They believe this is “data driven”.
It’s actually “assumption driven”.
Without realising it, every person who acts like this is being a needy prat.
They are watering things down without noticing that the very soil they’re watering is disintegrating.
They’re acting like the jealous boyfriend who tries to stop his girlfriend leaving him by changing his behaviour every time she talks to any other male, based on his assumptions about why she is talking to them.
In other words, they’re just being a simp.
Nobody can know why someone unsubscribed, unless you ask them.
And those forms that MailChimp pops up? If they return honest data I’ll eat my hat. Here’s why: they offer a list of choices that someone else predetermined, therefore restricting feedback, and those who unsub just want out in as few clicks as possible.
There’s a reason why confident people do better in the world:
They just go for what they want.
They are not apologetic.
They are not needy.
They are comfortable with themselves and their decisions.
They don’t spend their lives wondering what if, and looking backwards, and sooking about what might have been.
They just get on with it.
This attitude is sexy AF in interpersonal relationships. And it’s sexy AF in content too.
So instead of agonising about your rates of unsubscribed persons, just consider them persona non grata.
Screw those guys.
They obviously suck.
They’re obviously not your tribe.
Their life is worse without you than with you.
And if your boss wants you to agonize about unsubs? Maybe he’s a simp and needs therapy. Introduce him to the idea of focusing on new acquisitions and on sales from those who love you instead.
Leticia “there are already enough sooky-la-las in the world” Mooney
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